What a Week!

True to his nature, Nathan tolerated round 6 really well. We were able to have a very nice Thanksgiving Day with family, and Nate enjoyed his turkey dinner! My heart almost burst as we sat around the table, each person telling what they were grateful for. I've never been more grateful to sit down to a meal with my husband at my side.

In my last post, I laid out the plans for Nate's CT scan, consultation, and next surgery. Well, I spoke too soon. When will I ever learn? Nate did have his CT scan on December 3rd, and we followed up the next day with his surgeon, Dr. Bowles. Unfortunately, the scan didn't come back "clean". We didn't get the NED (No Evidence of Disease) status that we were so hoping for. We were both pretty heartbroken.

Our surgeon in Massachusetts, Dr. Lambert, warned us that Nate's scans would look pretty crazy to anyone not used to looking at post-HIPEC patients, and that they might be misread, but we weren't anticipating the bad news. We were so hopeful! There were some areas that looked suspicious for remaining tumor, or mucin. All of the areas in question were areas where Nate had a lot of tumor removed during the HIPEC procedure, so Dr. Bowles wasn't sure if they were scar tissue, abscess, mucin, or tumor. She talked about re-staging the disease, getting more scans, biopsies, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She was very apologetic and kind, but all I wanted to do was run away from her office and the hospital. Nate was much more level headed and, sadly, had to comfort me. We agreed that it was very important that Dr. Lambert see the scan as soon as possible so we could make a game plan. Dr. Bowles told us she would call her right then and overnight the scan. She hoped for a response by Thursday.

We were hesitant to let the news out before we had more information. Our kids were aware of the scan and the follow-up appointment, and we had no idea what to tell them. It's a tricky thing to hide your emotions from your kids when you feel your world tumbling down. We told them, and many of you the truth, that the scans were being evaluated by Dr. Lambert because there were a few questionable findings. To make a long story short (it was anything but short for us!), Dr. Lambert didn't receive the scan until Monday afternoon. Nice overnight job! We spent the entire week with our hearts in our stomachs, and our stomachs on the floor every time a new email arrived or whenever the phone rang.

After reviewing the scan, Dr. Lambert said that overall she was quite pleased. She had the benefit of comparing this scan with one from July that the radiologist here didn't have. By doing so, she could see that two of the questionable spots were significantly smaller than the July scan, and the other spot was exactly the same size. We found some hope in these findings. It may suggest that the areas are scar tissue or something else as a result of the prior surgeries. She agreed that it was disappointing to see these areas, but also said that it was "exceedingly unlikely that the scan would have come back clear considering all that Nate had been through". She recommended that Nate go ahead with the next surgery to reverse the illeostomy, but encouraged him to wait until January as the surgery would be a long and hard one with high possibility for complication, and a hospital stay of at least a week. She didn't want it to interfere with Christmas. We trust Dr. Lambert and we know that she always has Nate's best interest in mind, so we will defer to her recommendation. She discussed the scan with Dr. Bowles, and she has agreed to go ahead with the procedure. If she can get a look at the trouble spots, through all of the scar tissue and adhesions from the HIPEC, when she opens Nate up, she will try to get biopsies and/or remove or drain the tissue depending on what she finds. The procedure is currently scheduled for January 9th.

Needless to say, we've had an emotional week. Waiting for news is hard, but I know from experience that sometimes knowing the news can be even harder. We both felt a lot of relief after hearing from Dr. Lambert, but every time something like this happens, it gets harder to let our guard down. Nate is much better at this than I am, and I'm grateful that he reminds me that it's still ok to hope for the best. He reminded me that we really don't even know that the best hasn't already happened. I pray that the best has already happened, and that he will just be on a road to recovery from here on out. I admire his faith and confidence in our Heavenly Father.

We're praying that Nate's upcoming surgery will have a positive outcome, and that Dr. Bowles will be able to get a good look at the areas in question and take care of whatever is needed. We would love to have some resolution and peace of mind after this long hard year. We appreciate all of Nate's cheerleaders (if you're reading this we consider you a part of the squad), and are grateful for the faith you add to ours as we pray for continued miracles for Nate. We're excited for Christmas and the opportunity we have to spend it with our children and family. We're ever grateful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, and the gift he is in our lives. As I've learned to recognize my blessings every day, no matter how small, I've been amazed at how often I see that Lord's hand in my life as he blesses me through others. I'm amazed at the goodness I see in others, and their willingness to serve and love my family.  Thank you for loving and supporting us. Merry Christmas!