Groundhog Day

I woke up this morning with a lump in my throat and a flutter in my heart. Today is February 2nd, 2015 and it marks some pretty significant events in my life. First, it's Groundhog Day so that's a big deal! Second, I had my first date with the man of my dreams on this day 19 years ago. Third, 3 years ago today our life changed in pretty dramatic fashion when Nathan was diagnosed with stage 4 appendix cancer.

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I'm guilty of being very sentimental. There are certain dates that hover in the back of my mind each year and I can't help but acknowledge them in some way. When I reminded Nate about where we were on this day 3 years ago, he said "Oh great. Thanks for the reminder!". I'll admit that I have mixed feelings about these "anniversaries" because there are so many ways to look at them. On one hand, it was one of the worst days of our lives to that point. On the other hand, look how much Nate has accomplished! Look how far he's come, how hard he's fought, and how much he's endured.

Nate's Facebook post this morning:

Natalie reminded me this morning that it was 3 years ago today that I rushed myself to the hospital because I was, in effect, dying of Stage 4 appendix Cancer.
It has been a long, hard journey, but certainly worth the pain and tears. Worth being able to be there for Pinewood derbies, bowling with my girls, camping with the family, sushi with my sushi buddies. Golf and fishing with my friends. Date nights doing nothing with my best friend. It all, and especially all the little things, makes it very much worth it.
I feel bad for the pain and suffering that it has caused my family. Poor Sydney has had to deal with with half her conscious life. However, the strength and fortitude they posses is a reflection of their mother. She has been a rock through it all. I know it is hard on her. But I couldn't have done it, literally, without you by my side and really, plowing the path in front of me.

So in light of this, i say happy anniversary to me. To everyone else, I say thanks AGAIN! Thanks for the the prayers said and unsaid, the thoughts, the thoughtless service, the dinners, the cookies, the help with the kids schedules, rides, lawn care.

Hopefully, here is to the next 3 years with me paying it forward.

— with Seth Hardy and 5 others.

When I read this post, I shed tears of gratitude and love for all that Nate is in my life, and the lives of our children. Watching him suffer has been difficult. Watching him fight and press forward has been inspiring. Watching his perspective on life change has been endearing, but watching him implement that change has been amazing. He's my best friend, and I'm so lucky to have been able to coax him into our first date 19 years ago! 

I'm sure there are many of you who would like an update on Nate after all of this time! I apologize for the lack of information since we returned home from Mass. The day after we returned was Thanksgiving, and I hit the ground running at a full sprint. There was so much to get ready for the holidays, and Nate was in no condition to help with all the "heavy lifting", so this blog was sent to the back burner for a bit. I figured that today was a great day to let you all know how my Super Hero is doing. (This is for you, Kelly and Allison-you called it for sure!)

Nate and I were able to travel home without any problems, and well ahead of the storms that were coming. We were whisked through security in a wheelchair and got seats next to each other for the first leg of our flight. We had a short layover in Atlanta before we started the final leg home. Another little miracle came when we got seated on the overbooked full flight and the seat right next to me never filled so Nate got to come sit by me from 4 rows back. It was the only empty seat on the plane...not a coincidence. 

2014

2012...still marveling at the difference!

We arrived home on time, after an uneventful flight- thank goodness! It was magic to see my kids and my parents at the bottom of the escalator. I'm lucky to have had this homecoming experience again. Sam and Sydney were so excited to see us that they ducked under the ropes and ran to meet us. Seth and Emma quickly followed, and the tears started to flow. 

Thanks for everything Mom and Dad!

So good to see these two guys together

Is it possible that Seth grew while we were gone?

We arrived home to some great surprises! My mom and dad were very busy while we were gone, but not just with the kids. They could see that there were a few neglected projects around the house and took it upon themselves to get them taken care of for us! They fixed my shower handle, my dad and brother in law leveled out my double oven that had settled on an angle. My mom sewed new pillow covers for my couch pillows that had seen better days. They repaired little holes in the walls on the basement stairs and even painted and touched up the walls. They replaced broken shelves in my fridge, and above all, took excellent care of our kids! The other surprise was that my family and Nate's parents paid a guy to put up Christmas lights! It looked amazing, and he also came and took them down! No Christmas lights in July for us this year!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with Nate's family and my parents up at the farm. Nate took it easy over the next few days and weeks. He kept busy with wound care, meds, and doing anything he could to help me get ready for Christmas. He wrapped his fair share of presents, and even took Emma on a little shopping trip to the mall. Imagine having no core strength and trying to sit up all day...not easy! 

We had a Christmas miracle with a snowstorm on Christmas Eve! We woke up to a beautiful white Christmas. The kids were amazed! We were all amazed!

Christmas morning

December was busy with all kinds of fun. Nate returned to work the week before Christmas and was able to stay there for about 3-5 hours a day. His boss was so kind, and even tried to kick him out a few times! Nate didn't push it as hard as he did after previous surgeries, and I think it helped his recovery.

Emma and Sydney performed together in the
Nutcracker in the soldiers and mice scene

Daddy brought them roses!

Our visit with Santa...those are some hopeful smiles!

We took the kids downtown on the
Front Runner to see the lights
on Temple Square

Big brothers are awesome for tiny, tired legs!

Waiting for the train...

We spent Christmas Eve at Nate's parents' home and had a great day! We played games, ate a ton, opened gifts and loved every second of being together!    

Nate and his brothers were good sports as the kids
turned them into Christmas Trees! Nate is on the right.

The Culprits

Christmas Eve with Grandma and Grandpa...
nothing better than that!

New Christmas PJ's

Such a good sport!

White Elephant "Adult" Gift Exchange...who knew?

We felt so blessed to spend Christmas with our kids. Nate was blessed to feel well all day long, and had the energy to sit and play with the kids. This is something I'll never take for granted.

Sam's gift to us. Love it!

Christmas morning was wonderful! We took
this picture to send to Dr. Lambert as we
wished her a Merry Christmas!

After Christmas we spent some time up at Snow Basin. We bought season passes last April but Nate isn't able to ski this year so his pass will be good for next year. Since it's not easy to get 4 kids up to the resort and ready to ski, Nate's been the "lodge mom" and he helps with boots and gear and a few tears here and there. He's been able to get lots of reading in, and his hot chocolate and warm hugs are just what the kids need! He never complains that he can't ski. He's just genuinely happy to be there to share it with us.

Sam and Syd like to fool around at the top
before they shred down the mountain.

Me and my goons!

Happy 15th Birthday Seth! Seth was excited for his birthday this year, and since he never has school on this day (MLK Day weekend) we get to do some pretty fun stuff! We took his friends, who also have season passes, skiing/boarding for Seth's big day. They had a great time skiing shirtless down the hill. Hmm...is this what teenagers do? Grateful for good buddies.       

The party continued with dinner and more crazy fun!

So fun to be on the mountain together!

And last but not least....Sam completed all requirements for his Bear in Cub Scouts! He was awarded his Bear, and WON the Pinewood Derby! Way to go Sam! And Dad!

Nate's recovery has been slow but steady. The surgical drain he came home with continued to drain and drain. We met with a surgeon here in SLC who agreed to follow Nate but the drain wasn't ready to come out. Some days it was minimal, and some days it was full. The week after Christmas, it really slowed down, but the doctor was out of town so Dr. Lambert thought it would be ok for me to remove it. I was kind of excited! Nate was really excited! I think he would've let Seth pull it out at that point, he was so sick of it! Dr. Lambert gave me instructions, and I took it out the Saturday after Christmas. Nate was glad to be rid on one device! His open wound continued to heal nicely, and he got to stop packing it the following week. Pain control was always an issue, and since Nate couldn't have the more effective medication, he seemed to always have pain. As he's healed, the pain has decreased, and he stopped taking pain meds a few weeks ago. He's healed very well, and his spirits have been high and hopeful. His scar is healing well, and looks ten times better than before! 

The last two weeks we've really noticed Nate's color and energy coming back. He's working almost full time, and isn't having to take naps during the day or when he gets home from work. It's wonderful to see some normal creeping into our days! Knock, knock, knock on wood. 

The plan is for Nate to have CT scans every 3 months. His first "baseline scan" is next week, followed by an appointment with our oncologist and another with our surgeon. We will be making plans from scan to scan, and continue to hope and pray that this cancer is gone. 

Thanks again for all the love and support you've given. We loved receiving Christmas Cards, and I wish I had the energy to send ours out this year. Keep praying for Nate! Love to all!