Chemo...Round Two

It's funny how this past month and a half seems like a year and a half, but it seems like just yesterday that we were sitting here in the infusion lab doing Nate's first round of chemo. I guess time flies when you're having a good time, right?!

We had the opportunity to visit with Nate's Oncologist for about 25 minutes before chemo, and he is a great person. He's very willing to work with us and whichever surgeon we choose. He admits his shortcomings and limitations, which we've found is kind of rare when it comes to some doctors. He's always willing to take suggestions and recommendations. He's willing to listen to us, explain things to us, and offer straight forward advice and treatment. We know we were led to him. One of the lessons we've learned from this is that there is no such thing as coincidence. The way we were led to him, and the way we were able to get an appointment with him was a direct answer to prayer.

The Infusion Room is completely full today. There are about 20 patients in here. You might think that this would be a sad place to be, but it's a place full of people who are full of hope! I love to see all of the family and friends who come and offer love and support. There are patients who have 5 or 6 people sitting with them! I love it! I'm grateful that Nate allows me to join him here. I know I'm a bit of a distraction from his work, but I think it's therapeutic for me to be here with him. Plus, I don't need any nurses flirting with him.

We've taken more steps to hopefully lessen the chemo side effects. His doctor gave us some more drugs to put in the arsenal. Nate isn't thrilled about adding more meds to his pill box. He's starting to feel a little feeble. Before all of this started, I could barely even get him to take an Ibuprofen let alone a multivitamin that he'd have to take everyday. He's done a great job with this whole transition. He's a really good "patient". He rarely, if ever, complains. He's full of courage and strength and hope. He's a wonderful example to me and to our children.

Nate's done an amazing job of keeping his life relatively normal. He's been going to work as often as he can. He doesn't always feel well, and still deals with pain, but he always manages to put on a smile. I admire him more and more every day.

Last week I found myself a little overwhelmed and feeling a little weary of this whole thing. I was in a funk. I was talking with a friend and she said something to me that really brought my perspective back where it needs to be. She has an amazing amount of faith, and has had her share of hard trials. We were talking about life, and she said, "You have to hope for the very best, you just have to!". I know that sounds easy, and I know it sounds like common sense, but I'm here to tell you that it has, at times, felt like an impossible thing for me to do. Hope can be scary.

I went home and thought about what she said, and realized that I was wasting my time being scared of what 'might' happen. When Nate was in the hospital, our good Bishop brought us a quote and hung it on the wall. It's from Henry B. Eyring:

"Faith is not to hope. Faith is not simply to know God could do something. Faith is to know He will. And I testify to you that our Heavenly Father is prepared to bless."

I think I'm finally starting to get it. There is no other choice but to hope for the very best. My friend was right..."you just have to". As soon as I gave myself to that, with faith, I've felt a new sense of peace in my life. It's good to be humbled from time to time and I'm grateful for the calm moments in my days. I know we have angels all around us, and I know that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. We have to learn to find joy wherever we find ourselves.

We appreciate everyone who's following Nate's adventure, and still marvel that we have so much genuine support. We're grateful for all of the prayers that are offered on our behalf. Please pray for Nate as he endures this second round of chemo. Go Nate!!! We love you!!!